When I was younger, someone told me to make “The List”. The List was to comprise of things I wanted in my future husband. As an excited little Christian girl, I quickly got to work making a list. I remember putting 1) “Loves God” and 2) “Loves music”. And then I stopped, because I wasn’t quite sure what else I wanted to write.
Over the years, I added things to my list, most of which were things I found logical. (I wrote stuff like “faithful, loves children, etc”) But once something happened that made me reconsider the importance of that list. I met a man with a child. His life had been a wreck before, but he’d turned around and found Jesus. He had an amazing story, and I was so encouraged. One thing though, he still had his child from a previous relationship.
I thought to myself – could I, goody two shoes, fall in love with that man and his daughter? No, the question really was, would I allow myself to love such a man? Because I knew God loves him, and I should too right? (I didn’t actually end up falling for this guy, but stay with me)
I’ve been dating a great Christian guy for a little over a year now, but I still think back to that particular time because that was the point I started to question the importance of “The List.” God’s only condition is for the believer to be yoked with another believer. That’s it. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great to know the qualities you love in a partner. But I remember being told “if a guy doesn’t match your criteria, cross him off your list.” That advice worked out well for me as a 12 year old – it kept me out of the dating scene for quite a while. But after a while, I realized that I was setting more requirements than God. That can’t be right.
May I propose asking another question?
Do you/can you love this person the most?
This is just a thought; something from personal experience. I have absolutely no evidence to back this up, but way back before my special someone and I got together, I had realized that he is the person I am most patient, loving and forgiving with, as a friend.
You know how there are some people you can’t tolerate as well as you can others?
I think there are people you can tolerate and love particularly well compared to others.
Again, these are my own thoughts, I realize that I can be completely wrong. I’d love to hear what you guys think about this. 🙂
My maximum love, patience and tolerance might not be a whole lot (I still get to see so much of my flaws as we live life together) but at least I know that I’m giving my best to the person I love.
Shrugs. Am I weird?
Kthxbye i’m sleepy goodnight!